I had this very interesting conversation about relationships tonight. A friend said these words to me…. “Sometimes I suppose you are chased, and other times you are the chaser.”
It struck me, what is love? Is love the joy of being chased? Or is love the joy of chasing the one you love?
I don’t think love alone is enough. So what else do you need to be happy in a relationship?
Is it being chased? Is it being the chaser?
In the short time I have had to actually contemplate this thought (since I just had it tonight)… I believe that you need to have equal parts love, being chased, and being the chaser.
It all starts with love really. Without love why would you be willing to do any of this? Love is the foundation, the common, mutual feelings that two people share. Love is something that you can share with people without being in a relationship. A love with your family or with your best friends. But it is the love that you pursue that makes the love a relationship.
And then I think you need to equally chase the love of your life, as often as you are chased after. For if you are both willing to prove your love to each other, then you are willing to prove the strength of the relationship. And that, I believe is what you unconditional love. Two people willing to prove their love to each other, day in and day out. Sometimes one person will outpour their attraction seemingly more so than their partner. But when they need to feel the attraction, their partner will shower them with the love and attention that they desire.
Every day isn’t always equal parts chasing, but the love and the foundation is there every day. And together, you get through things. And when it comes down to it, all we want is to love someone and be with someone who is there for you on the good days and the bad days.
Relationships are mysterious. How do you ever really know if you are in fact with the right person? How do you know that you aren’t missing out on someone else who might be perfect? How do you know that making sacrifices to be in said potential relationship are worth it?
I clearly don’t know these answers. But this is what I do know.
When you find someone who is willing to show you they love you. Let them. Because maybe they won’t turn out to be the love of your life. Like you once thought they might be. But they may lead you to learn things about yourself. And question things about life that you probably didn’t think about before. And in the long run, they will inevitably make you a better, stronger person because of it.
Share the love. Don’t be afraid to chase after what you want. And don’t fear the one that pursues you.
Because quite frankly… you never know…